Do More Expensive Spirits Mean Fewer Headaches Later?

Firstly, homies, if you wake up with a headache the next day, you aren’t drinking responsibly. So, stop it.

But, as you are asking for a friend, you can pass on this wisdom. If they are drinking some top-shelf spirit made from unicorn tears and organic wild-harvested grains, will they have less of a headache than when drinking the house spirit at your local? The answer is quite possibly. And this is why.

When we distil alcohol, we are looking to purify and concentrate the ethanol from a fermented bunch of sugars or starches. Although too much ethanol can cause a headache, other impurities are far worse. The problem is, on each run through the still, there will be impurities in the ethanol such as methanol, acetaldehyde, propanol, butanol, and isobutanol. These little buggers cause that piercing headache, and in larger quantities, serious health problems like blindness. Trust us, the less of these, the better. None is best. These impurities tend to be in the first 10% of each run and in the last 10 percent also.

So, “responsible” distilling means throwing the first and last parts of each run down the sink. And then running it through the still again. That is where you get the “Triple Distilled,” etc. We don’t just do it because we like hanging around the stills making jokes about each other’s beards.

The problem is that this method costs money. Now, homie, if you have any experience, say, with life, you will know that for some people, if it costs money, that’s a deal breaker right there. Do you really think they are going to throw the first 10 percent out? Or run it through the still for 3 days? So, with some cheaper spirits, those impurities may still be in there even in small amounts. Not all cheaper spirits, by the way. But if you know, you know.

Then, of course, you can have all the other impurities in alcohol. For example, the artificial colours, flavourings, preservatives, etc., that can be in a drink but don’t need to be on the label. Notice how alcohol doesn’t have an ingredient list like food and other beverages. Your “Rum”, for example, could contain caramel colouring to get the right colour and flavouring for more taste. Don’t ask us how we know.

What does this mean for “your friend”? The safest bet is a clear spirit from a company you trust for purity. Like maybe vodka, gin, or a white rum. No methanol, no acetaldehyde. Please, homie, don’t make us say the trustworthy brand.

And when will you thank us for this blog post? Tomorrow, homie, when you are feeling fine.